Dear Stranger

I'm suffocating
wallowing in my own misery
I seem like such a free bird
yet I'm so caged inside
drowning in depression
my heart is breaking
soon they'll all see
I'm not the happy bubbly girl they thought they knew
I've fooled them all
every last one
its getting harder to hide though
it's cracking
chipping at the edges
what am i to do ?

I'm royally screwed
fake smiles and masked expressions
when can i let my reflection show??
when can i get my fairytale ending?

sorry honey it aint coming

I set my standards too high
but thats just me
i set my expectations so highhoping to show my eyes what my mind sees

I'm aggrivated
devistated

I'm crashing down
just to build myself up again

no one can help me now
i'm getting weaker
but it makes me stronger

i keep holding on to false hopes and wishing
wishing for a new day

that day aint coming for you honey

I've made my share of mistakes
that i admit

I have my share of regrets
that trouble my mind day in and day out

i fill myself with food
because i'm so angry
all the time
i'm so depressed

not yet suicidal
but i'm getting there

they dont understand
they never will
no one will

this torture in me
its eating me alive
then again....


I was already dead to begin with..